Free online Active Parenting program begins soon at David Lawrence Centers in Naples

This is Gulf Coast Life I’m Mike Kiniry. Thanks for joining us. Active parenting education programs have been around since the early 1980s. They're evidence based, meaning they use research backed curriculum that teach techniques and approaches that have been studied and shown to provide benefits, including lowering household conflict and improving child behavior, among others. Parenting has never been easy, and approaches to parenting have changed and evolved over time. But in these times that we're in, it seems like the challenges that come with raising a child, whether young or in their teens, must be as great as they've ever been. According to data from the CDC, almost 40% of high school students report persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness. The numbers even higher among adolescent girls. I've heard firsthand reports of these sentiments among college students. This is not the only data. That is not the only data showing how troubling these times are for young people and, by extension, for their parents. So today, we're going to learn about a series of active parenting courses that are starting up soon through the David Lawrence Centers for Behavioral Health and Collier County. One for Parents of Teens begins on July 23rd. Then another cycle for parents of younger children gets underway on October 1st. Joining me to tell us more is Jasmine Pagano. She's wellness program supervisor at the David Lawrence Center's Wellness Institute. Welcome to the show, Jasmine. Thank you. I'm excited to be here. So for starters, just tell us a little bit about yourself and your background. We were chatting before the show and you've got a lot going on. Besides working at Dave and Lawrence Centers, it seems. So, yeah, professionally, I'm the supervisor of wellness programs or the most program supervisor at David Lawrence Centers. I'm also an adjunct at Florida Gulf Coast University teaching epidemiology, the study of diseases. And outside of that, I am pursuing a Doctor of Education and Educational Leadership and Policy at the University of Florida. Tell us what that doctorate is in. It's very interesting and in some ways kind of overlaps with the stuff we're talking about. Definitely. My dissertation is going to focus on suicide prevention and K through 12 schools. Gotcha. So when I hear David Lawrence Centers, I think nonprofit mental health and addiction treatment. But clearly it extends beyond that because we're here to talk about active parenting courses. Explain what the David Lawrence Center is and like where you fit into the Pi. That is it. Definitely. So the David Lawrence Center's has over 40 programs, both clinical and non-clinical, inpatient, outpatient. Think of it as the three levels of prevention. So primary prevention is supporting individuals before there ever is a problem or a concern. And that's where my team comes in. Or Wellness Institute provides resiliency skills, life skills for anybody we can possibly meet. And then that secondary prevention is screenings. So with therapists, counselors and then treatment which would be at the tertiary prevention. So we cover all aspects of an individual across the continuum of care. Just like our health ebbs and flows so does recovery. So whatever support and individual needs, we're going to do that for them. How long have you been there? I've been at DLC for five years. Five years? When you came here to go to FGC, you was your intention to stay around Southwest Florida or is that just how it turned out? Honestly, it's how it turned out. I thought I was going to end up in the Gainesville area, still in Florida, but I ended up falling in love with the Southwest Florida area, so I stayed. So your PhD must be virtual then? It is. Yes, yes. So as I said in the intro, these active parenting programs are evidence based. I guess that means they have like formal curriculum. And in my reading, it looks like this is not something that you guys made up. This is you tapping into something that's been around for 43 years now or something like that. Tell us, just broadly speaking, what they're all about. So we have the two programs, Active Parenting of Teens and then Active Parenting today or Active Parenting now. It's synonymous through the same thing. And we offer them both in English and Spanish. And both curricula are like age appropriate for the age of the child. So when we're talking about the Active Parenting Teens program, which starts this Thursday, July 23rd, that one teaches parents how to communicate, avoid communication blocks, and really help their teens, especially when they're starting to have their own independence, make decisions for themselves and support them along the way, as well as talking to them about like risky sexual behaviors, violence prevention, being safe online. And then with our Active Parenting Now, our Active Parenting Today program that is for younger kiddos. So 5 to 12 years old, we generally say, and that one focuses again, communication, but more so like the developmental stages of youth. So what are they trying to get out of this behavior? Why are they having a tantrum, if you will? And how can we talk to them in a way that makes sense to them so that they don't do that again? And then it talks a lot about helping them in school, homework time and again, just being safe in general, making safe choices for themselves. I know you don't teach these courses and you didn't design the curriculum, but evidence based means that they've done a bunch of trials out in the real world over many years. I mean, would it be possible for you to say kind of what some of the things are that are in these programs that would differ from what somebody might just do, because that's the way it's always been done. One of the words I kept seeing was non punitive. Is that a big part of it? Yes, definitely. So a big reason some of our parents will take the course is because they're like I want to learn about discipline. However, it is like the curriculum calls it nonviolent discipline but it's non punitive. So it's really how do we talk to people in a way that humanizes the individual and doesn't necessarily scold the person but say, hey, we did this, let's learn from it. And how can we do better next time with the youth. So it teaches a lot about different communication skills and different options for making choices. For example, when you do this, then we can do that. Or if you do this, then we can do this to help, especially the younger children. An example of it is when you clean your room, then you can go outside. Who are these courses for? Are these for parents whose kids have gotten toward the line of needing help from someone like David Lawrence, Center? Or is this just for all parents? It's for all parents. I mean, being a human being is hard. I like to say whenever we teach the classes, we're all living life for the first time. And I mean, being a parent, you're learning how to help another individual live life for the first time. So it's really for anybody. Yeah, I think of it as, you know, parenting is constant advice coupled with constant learning. Some from the outside world, some from the person you're giving advice to the little person. Yes. This says next cycle. So these have been offered in the past. Like is this something you guys do annually? Do you know how well they're attended? Typically anything like that. We have housed the active parenting curricula for at least ten years. Again, I've been there for five years. So the five years I've been at David Lawrence Centers, we've continued to do them. Previously, it was essentially every month we were doing them. When I became supervisor, we started doing them quarterly because it was quite overwhelming to try to get as many referrals as possible. So to quarterly, because that worked a lot better for individual schedules. And the attendance is on the up and up. We have about 15 registered for the program that starts on Thursday, so I'm really excited for that and I'm hoping to continue that momentum. Is it possible to say, or are you even allowed to say whether they are typically attended by one parent or the pair? It depends. Sometimes both parents will attend the class and sometimes it's just one. Is there a cost involved? No, it is free. Free virtual Thursdays it is six weeks. So we do expect that the parent comes throughout the six weeks to receive their certificate of completion. They can miss a class, but they'll still have to make it up. We're incredibly understanding of, you know, life happens, emergencies happen. So we do our best to be flexible with the parent. But it is. It is free. You said when parents come, I mean it's virtual. So you mean come to their screen? Is it is it all at a certain time or do you do it on your own time? Thursdays from 530 to 730. P days from five five 3730. You log into something like zoom. Zoom is being taught in real time. Or is it so? It's being taught in real time. Are you guys providing the instructors or are they provided through the active parenting people? That's a good question. So I have a team of wellness program specialists, and they're all trained on the curricula to provide it. So they're providing the curriculum live. They're having interactive meetings or sessions, if you will, with the parents. It's a lot of dialog back and forth. So we share information with them. We ask about their experiences or what their thoughts are. And then it's it's really like a flow conversation back and forth. You ever heard back or followed somehow with data? Parents who've participated in these programs and like how things have turned out down the road. We don't necessarily hear how things turn out down the road, but will often receive feedback from the parents that it was like a great class, that they really enjoyed it and they gained a lot of skills. They particularly like the, the lessons about communication because they don't necessarily, like, think how we frame our words can affect what the youth might do or what the teen might do or say next. Their brains also get really opened up to the different types of parenting. I mean, there's so many different parenting styles. The curriculum focuses on three, but when we talk about like the doormat parent or the dictator parent, they're like, oh no, I've done that before. I guess those are character's characteristics that we could picture just from the words that just yes. Yes, but the goal is to be the active parent. So a happy medium. So freedom within limits is the idea. When when you say non punitive, I'm wondering if some parents particularly may be a bit older. Might be like back in my day. That's not how we did it. You know. How how does it address that. Yeah. Some parents are often like, wait, what do you mean? We use our words instead. So we often try to explain that. I'm like, come at this with an open mind, try these new methods and see what they do for your relationship with your child. And you know, sometimes there is a little bit of pushback, but in general, they're pretty open to it. It's pretty cool seeing the growth from week one to week six. Do parents ever do the younger kid? One? And then once their kid gets older, they do the older kid one because they already saw benefit. Sometimes what happens. So I don't know if they do it when their kid gets older, but often parents will have multiple children, so they'll do like one if they have, like a teenager, for example, they'll take the teens one. They're like, oh, I love this so much. When's the one for the younger kids? Because they also have a younger child. So then they come back and they'll do the the younger version two or the flip flop. Kids don't participate I guess. No. Again. Just the parent. It's just the parent. One of the things it's kind of, you know, like a trope at this point, but I think there's a lot of truth to it. It's the do as I say, not as I do metaphor does. Do you have any idea if the programs get into that? Because, you know, as you said, we're all humans and we all have our things. And so just because suddenly you're a parent doesn't mean you can turn off your things, but you want to teach the kid not to have your things. You know what I mean? Yes, yes. For both curriculum. Actually, the first lesson called the Act of Parent mentions the idea of we don't want to use the do as I say, not as I do with the idea of being active parent. You want your actions to align with your words. So a big teaching point or a big learning opportunity is the idea that our actions need to align with what we're saying, especially with younger children. They're going to mirror everything a parent does. They're watching even somebody brushing their hair. If you give a young child a brush and they've never brushed their hair before, they're probably watching their parent do that. So making sure your actions align with your words is one of the biggest things that we teach and talk about during the curriculum. One of the strongest metaphors for that are ways of looking at it, I think is driving like, however you drive, you know, we're kind of all anonymous in our cars. We kind of do our things sometimes that we might not do out in the real world. But if your kids in the back seat, that's how they're going to drive. And that kind of applies to everything that we do as a parent and in all things, I think, yes. And with parenting too, I am not a parent yet. I will get to experience that in October, actually. Congratulations. Thank you. But I am an older sister, so it's the idea of as a parent, you have somebody constantly watching you. As an older sister, I have somebody constantly watching me too. So I need to make sure that my actions align with what I would want my brother to do, or how I would want him to grow up. It's the same with being a parent. Just like the driving. You want your children to align with those positive, those healthy behaviors, to be able to survive and thrive. And whatever goals dreams that they have. Might you take one of these courses in five and a half years when your kids old enough, or will you already have been around them enough to have it in you? Possibly. I mean, I have not been the student in these classes. I've been the teacher for the past five years, so it would be interesting being the student. The courses have been taught in some version since 1983. We haven't had the internet, you know, in our hands since the late 2000 or late 90s. Does it get into because, I mean, I think we all know that these numbers we hear about mental health problems among teens is in many ways linked to screen time and social media use. Does it get into that at all? The teen version. So the Active Parenting of Teens talks about social media and social media safety. How can we protect our children and still have them be able to utilize it in a healthy way for the active parenting? Now for the younger ages, it touches briefly on screen time, but it mostly focuses on homework and setting like a schedule. How do we succeed in school? But the teen one focuses more so on the social media aspect. Does it? I would hope it would point out that the driving metaphor also applies to screen time. You know, it's like we all again, have our things. And one of those things is always having one of these phones in our hands. And it's really hard to tell your kid not to always have one if you've got one. Does it talk about that? Yes. So there are family enrichment activities at the end of each lesson for both both programs and both of them talk in the introductions to the the family return activities about the importance of being present with your children. If you're on your phone, like as the parent, if you're on your phone constantly, that sends a message to your children that you're not necessarily present or available for them. So it does mention both of the curricula. Talk a lot about making sure that you are present and available for your children, putting your phone down, making sure you have no tech time, if you will, to have that family time with each other. Your PhD was again, what do you you're presenting your thesis soon on what. I'm doing. My proposal defense. To be able to work? Yes. To be able to the end of your line. Listen I if I was at my the end. That would be really nice. But I've got one more year, so I will be defending my proposal to then be able to move through the the official dissertation process next Friday. Actually, it is on suicide prevention in K-12 schools, and I'm focusing on teachers having the confidence and ability to support student mental health, as well as identifying like teacher specific trainings, maybe the development of one to be able to help them gain those skills. What brought you to that topic for a PhD? I mean, I know it's all over the place, but so are a lot of things. Like, is that a personal interest? Is that just the road that you've wound up on? I actually never envisioned ever being anywhere near mental health, ever. You study. Public health, right? Yes. I studied public health and then health education and behavior for my master's. I thought I was going to go to the physical therapy track. And then life has a funny way of working out. Covid hit. It really forced me to reflect on what my next steps were going to be. So ending up on my doctorate had a lot to do with working at David Lawrence Centers, falling in to just overall wellness, mental health as well. And my Nono died by suicide in 2011. So that's a really big personal interest. And my whole philosophy is early intervention is incredibly important. So the more skills that youth have when they're younger, the more resilient they'll be when they're older. And then the idea of like, it takes a village. So having supportive adults, there were so many teachers when I grew up that had a huge impact on me. So I would hope that we can still instill that in our teachers to be able to motivate and support our youth. What's the. This is a huge question for somebody about to do a PhD. Yeah, right. What's the current state of research when it comes to, you know, we're we're watching the trends and then the research sides coming through. Like do you guys have a handle on how this should be approached in terms of what to teach teachers? We are. I mean, gaining information from teachers in general, trying to learn how to best support them and whatever needs that they have. But, I mean, in the moment don't necessarily have that information. That was an unfair question. Yeah. Still working on it. So back to the courses. There's six weekly two hour sessions. The first one starts on July 23rd. Yes. Is there a limit to the number of people who can register, or is it just as many people sign up as sign up and it's free? Yeah, as many people that sign up. The more the merrier. It makes the conversation a lot more fruitful too. So it's two way. Yes it is. You're talking. You're participating. Yes, yes. How does somebody get involved? Like, what's the best way? Just go to the website, click the link. Yeah. So we have our data centers website. If you go to DL Center's events it'll pop up on the events page as some an event that can be registered for. And then I receive the registration, I send a follow up email saying I received a registration. Get excited. They can also email me directly, and they can also visit just the David Lawrence Center's website directly and click down on the Wellness Institute page, and they'll find information on the parenting. And we'll have links to all that on our website. Perfect. If you don't get signed up by the first week, are you out? You got to get started all on on July 23rd. Yeah, we generally have people. We give them the option. So if they sign up a week later, then we say if you would like to participate, you'll have to still complete the first lesson before our next meeting or here's information on the next cycle. But generally you got to sign up by the first session. With that, though, they're available months in advance on the website. In the next one for the younger kids is, what, October 1st? Yes. And it's already on our website and we've already got a few registrations, which is super exciting. My last question is I read a story about you, at the bottom of which you answered some questions, one of which was what's the best career advice you've ever received? And you said, the best career advice I've ever received is that things don't always go as planned. Go with the flow allows opportunities to unfold naturally. A who gave you that advice? One of my professors actually. At FGC. You. Yes, doctor. Amy. Lehigh. Okay. Yes. And I thought B that seems like great advice for parents to. It is great advice for parents. Actually. I think it can apply to a lot of things. That advice was actually really hard for me to take. I'm incredibly type A for the longest time I had all these plans and I was going to do them. And I've still, you know, gotten to graduate school and done what I wanted to do, just not doing the original plan, if you will. But I never believed people when they say, go with the flow and things can change, but sometimes you got to go with the flow. And that's exactly how parenting probably is. I would guess is you try one thing and you're like, well, that didn't work out. So then we try, try again. Jasmine Pagano was wellness program supervisor at the David Lawrence Centers Wellness Institute. Thank you so much for coming in to talk with me, Jasmine. Thank you. This was an incredible opportunity. For you. Best of luck. To you. Thank you. So much. You could find links to the David Lawrence Centers for Behavioral Health websites, and to information about the active parenting programs on our website wgcu.org/gcl You can also find all of our back catalog of shows there, and you can subscribe to Gulf Coast Life wherever you find podcasts. Our show today was produced by Emma Rodriguez. We had audio production today from Matt Krause and video production from David Oquendo. For now, thanks for listening. Mike Kiniri. This is WGCU-FM Fort Myers, 90.1 WMKO Marco Island 91.7 FM, NPR for Southwest Florida